Two weeks. We’ve been home from the hospital for two weeks, and we are all still alive! This is good. I told Paul my goal for the first two weeks was “survive.” I wish I could say that life is heavenly, (and in some ways, it is!) but I think I owe my future self a good laugh or a good cry, so I’ll be a little more honest.
Alice and I stayed in the HDU (High Dependency Unit) for 36 hours, until I could get out of bed and take a shower… They keep those rooms SOOOO warm, plus most of the time I was snuggling my little one, and I hadn’t been able to wash after delivery, so let’s just say that was one of the most important showers of my life.
After the HDU, we were transferred to the ward for the next 24 hours. We were supposed to be there for 2 days because of my anemia and what not, but I told them I was totally fine and needed to go home early. Ha! I just knew I’d get more sleep with Ggie and Paul there to take turns with the baby, and I wouldn’t be sharing a room with 4 other women and their babies. So, Saturday afternoon we were discharged and came home to a lovely welcoming party of Beasley’s, Rachel, and Ggie. There were flowers, chocolates, and lots of love to welcome Baby Alice and congratulate us. Leah arranged for ward members to bring us dinner each night for a week, which was SO wonderful. Unfortunately, Paul had to travel to London all day Sunday and then return to school on Monday. Margie had to leave early Monday morning, so Leah took Rachel all day. Rachel had a blast, and I was able to rest with the baby.
Halloween was a dud this year. We had 3 trick or treaters, and we didn’t go out. I just wasn’t feeling up to it, and Paul got home late… Rachel didn’t know she was missing anything, but I still felt bad. Oh well. Paul and I tried to watch Harry Potter, but we both fell asleep. Ha! We know how to party, obviously.
Since we arrived home from the hospital, there have been fireworks every night. It’s totally a coincidence, but I find it funny! There is a large Indian population here, so they celebrated their “Christmas” equivalent last week, then there were fireworks for Halloween and for Guy Fawkes Day/Bonfire Night. (He’s the guy who almost blew up Parliament.) Rachel used to be scared, but now she likes the fireworks.
Let’s just talk about Alice for a minute. Where did this angel come from?? She is the most patient, snuggly, beautiful little girl! I knew she would be very different from Rachel just from how much she moved in my tummy, but I had no idea-they are almost complete opposites. Alice is SO cuddly. She loves to sleep on my chest or in my arms, and SHE TAKES A PACIFIER/DUMMY/BINKIE-whatever you want to call it. Guys!! I had no idea. It’s 100% easier to self soothe! I’m such a fan. Alice LOOKS quite different too. Where did all that dark hair come from? It’s already getting a bit lighter, but I’m thinking she could stay brunette. And she has blue/grey eyes, which could obviously change, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a blue eyed brunette. She is nursing like a champ every 3-4 hours (sometimes she goes 5-6 at night!) and she seems to be on our sleeping schedule. Can I just say how much I love and NEEDED this little one? Heavenly Father knew I needed an easy baby with all of the changes going on in our lives. Even though she was jaundiced and has a little cold, she has been so patient through all of the doctor/midwife visits, and when I hold her, I feel like SHE is comforting ME.
We knew her name was Alice when we first saw her on an ultrasound. We didn’t have a middle name picked out, but I felt like she needed one. After trying on several, Paul suggested “McKay”-my maiden name which is now my middle name. It didn’t fit, but it got us thinking about McKenzie, which was the only name that felt right. I’m not sure why, but it’s just what fit. So Alice McKenzie Cartwright it is! Side note: We call Rachel “Nugget” or “Bean”, and Alice is now “Muffin”. She’s just so squishy and soft and yummy-like a little English Muffin.
Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but I get really emotional after having a baby, and this time was no exception. I feel bad for Paul-he was about to ship my back to my mother just to see me stop crying. I think the combination of moving to a new country, having to get rid of all of my nice “stuff”, having a new baby, being far away from family and friends, and knowing it’s just me-by myself-12 hours a day for the next two (or 20) years-entertaining and feeding and changing these two little girls… I think anyone would get a little overwhelmed. Luckily, we have things like Skype and Facetime so I can call my mom and cry anytime. Ha! I also couldn’t do it without ward members and friends like Carol who comes over once or twice a week to take me grocery shopping, drives us to and from doctor visits, and plays with Rachel at the park. (Funny story: I texted Carol to say I was thinking about buying Rachel some crafty things to do-like play doh or markers and paper-and Carol responded “Funny. I was at the store yesterday and thought Rachel might like some play doh, so I bought her a little set.” Who does that??? Carol Beasley. That’s who.)
Now before any of you worry, just know that I really am fine-and every day just gets better! I knew this was part of the job when I signed up for this adventure, and I don’t mean to complain. I am so grateful for these experiences that are STRETCHING me. There are many things I have learned and will learn throughout this adventure that are meant to make me better. I just forget sometimes that it’s good to be uncomfortable. It’s how you learn.
When I stepped out of the hospital into the fresh autumn air, I realized just how grateful I am to be alive! I’m grateful for a loving, supportive husband and two amazing little girls. I’m SO grateful for friends and family who have sent streams of love and support (from both sides of the pond), and I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity Paul has to further his education and do what he loves! I know we are here for a reason. I thought it would feel more like a mission, but it’s hard to meet people when you have two little girls and no car. However, I realized that I am on a mission to my girls. Heavenly Father needed me to focus on them for two years-not on performing or teaching or getting pedicures and playing with friends (although those are all good things and fine to do!). I am grateful for this time to learn how to be a better wife and mother. I’m learning how to make new friends. I’m learning to trust my Heavenly Father and deeply rely on the Savior. I’m learning the difference between wants and needs. I’m learning how to keep fiercely to a budget. I’m learning how to make my own fun. I’m learning to live without TV, a dishwasher, a dryer, or a car. I’m learning to let others serve me, no matter how embarrassed I feel, and I’m learning how I can serve others who may feel the same way. I’m learning the importance of family. Mostly, I’m learning that I can be as happy as I choose to be-every minute of every day.
Rachel’s corner:
Rachel is always happy. Unless she’s throwing a little tantrum. But mostly she’s happy, and she tells me so.
She has blossomed into a little singer! She started making up songs for us, and she sings “Ariel” and Primary Songs every day. Our favorites are “Popcorn” and “Do As I’m Doing”.
Rachel has mastered the art of drinking from a big girl cup!
She is SO sweet with Baby Alice. She will pile toys and blankets on Alice if I leave them alone together, so I have to be careful. But it’s nice that she’s sharing!
Rachel loves our Christmas tree. Yes, we set it up on Halloween. We needed a little Christmas cheer, and it’s helping us feel more at home!
Rachel knows that big girls use the potty, and she can’t wait to try it. I’ve got some “Peppa Pig” undies for her and some “Minion” treats as incentives… I’m just not quite ready to take that on yet. Next week?
She has had some struggles with nap time lately, which makes the days even harder for me, but we haven’t given up yet!
She is a good helper-we do the dishes together, she puts things in the trash when I ask her to, and she puts dirty clothes in the basket for me! She loves to help bathe the baby, and gives us all lots of hugs and kisses.
I was making her lunch and told her to go sit at the table, but after a minute of waiting, she ran into the kitchen, hugged my leg and said “Love you Mommy”. Of course, I started bawling, but I’ll blame that on the mommy hormones. I just love that little Bean!
Cartwrights are loved by McKays
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