Do you think you and I will ever amount to anything?

When I was a little girl... actually, that's false. That's when it started, I guess... Whatever. My Grandpa has a million funny little "sayings" such as:

"You'll be a man before your mother"
"Sure don't taste like tomato juice"
"Are you a happy jack or a sad sack?"
"I'll be a ding-dong-daddy, what'll you be?"
"Here, this'll put hair on your chest."
"Watch yer top knot." (the reply is: "Watch yourn")
"Wack-o-neville!"


...the list goes on and on. One of my favorites is when Grandpa says "Well, Melanie, do you think you and I will ever amount to anything?" Then he taught me to say "I don't know about you, Grandpa, but I'M GOING TO BE GREAT!" (Mind you, it didn't hit me till about last year that this is actually an insult. Why did he teach me this?? Ah, Grandpa.)


I guess I've always known I was going to be something "great" because Grandma's and Grandpa's and loving parents and teachers told me so from the begining! It wasn't "I hope you turn out well," or "I think you could be successful". This was a FACT-I couldn't fail even if I wanted to! :)

Obviously, I've added bits of my own learning to this great mantra over time, but I've just had an epiphony in regards to the power of positive thinking and speaking. There is so much POWER in the words we say. If the voices in my head tell me I'm a failure, lazy, fat, slow, dumb, selfish, embarrassed, or somehow less important than someone else, it's pretty hard to convince myself and anyone else otherwise... which leads to a self-fulfilling prophesy. However, from a young age, my parents would tell me how selfless, kind, obedient, happy, friendly, faithful, loving, and beautiful I am! And what's even better-I believed them. I believed those wonderful, positive things about myself and it wasn't until much later that I even considered they could have been wrong.

Was it a form of brainwashing? ...Maybe. But I was so happy and such a good kid, I don't think they did me any disservice. I'm extremely grateful it's taken this long for the "magic" to sort of "wear off". Now, I realize it's a little more up to me to tell myself and show my parents and, more importantly, my Father in Heaven just exactly who I am-to put their positive reinforcement to the test!

So, last night, as my family was watching American Idol, we were fast-forwarding through the performance by Lady Gaga, and a little voice in my head said "You could be that if you want to." And I thought about it for a minute, and decided yes, I could probably be something like that if that's what I want. But that's not what I want. That's not who I am. That's not who I believe myself to be. I couldn't relate to Lady Gaga at all-she doesn't understand anything about what I think and feel, how I dress, my relationships with people, and the REAL WORLD-the one I'm actually living in (as opposed to her definition of the "real world").

I would much rather be hard working, spunky, and resourceful like Millie

serve and see the beauty in others like Bonnie Nelson

love God and music and children and my country like Maria Von Trapp

be intelligent, adventurous, caring, and honest like Dr. Quinn




laugh, and sing, and believe in magic like Mary Poppins (and Julie Andrews for that matter)

and it wouldn't hurt if I was a princess who could talk to animals and looked like Aurora

Now, my Grandparents and parents have taught me that I AM all those things, right now! So, mission accomplished, right? ...Eh, not quite. I have to convince myself, and that could take a loooooooong time. A lifetime, to be exact. So, I'll keep working on me. I'll keep believing, or having FAITH-not only in the gospel of Jesus Christ and his atoning power, but also in myself-as a daughter of God. I have the power to change, to become whoever or whatever I want to be. And thanks to the scriptures, I know exactly who and what that is:

As the Savior said-"Be ye therefore perfect."

So, my feet are on the path. I'm facing the right direction, and I'm trying hard to move forward, but sometimes it seems I'll never get there. In the mean time, this helps the journey:

"And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience...

ye shall reap the rewards of your faith,

and your diligence,

and patience,

and long-suffering,

waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you."

Alma 32:42-43